It’s always nice (and very much appreciated) to be invited out, especially when it’s to a launch night. The Colliery Smokehouse, Bar and Grill in Linton - near Swadlincote - was throwing open its doors to diners after working doggedly to build this huge space, and we couldn’t wait to experience the fruits of the teams’ labours.
Parking is not going to be a problem if you visit; the car park is massive! Having snagged a spot, we sauntered over to the entrance area where a fire-dancer was performing all manner of stunts and twirling fire around like it was nothing. Once inside, we waited at the hostess desk to be checked-in and shown over to our table. Our server for the evening was Elise, a marvellous young lady who ensured we wanted for nothing throughout our time at The Colliery Smokehouse, Bar and Grill.
The large bar area has seats for relaxing and/or supping, and is stocked with every beverage you could imagine; both alcoholic and soft. The wine list is great, as is the beers, lagers and cocktails/mocktails selection; I opted for a glass of NZ Sauvignon Blanc, The Man had a pint of Asahi lager. Elise went to sort our drinks order, leaving us to study the smokehouse menu in more depth. We’d just decided on our starters when the Executive Head Chef came over to say hello; amiable enough chap, with a more-than-fleeting resemblance to one Mr Tom Kerridge (well, hello!). It’s always nice to see the man behind the magic, so to speak.
To crack things off, The Man chose Smoked Bacon Burnt Ends and House ‘Slaw (£7) and I went for Pulled Lamb Tacos with shredded Gem Lettuce, Minted Yoghurt and Pomegranate Seeds (£8.50). For mains we ordered Oak-Smoked Brisket (£23.50) and 48-hour Beef Short Rib (£26.50) from the ‘mains’ section, that come with your choice of side (exc. marked items) and sauce: I chose Hot Honey-glazed Corn Ribs and Blue Cheese sauce; His Nibs had 5 Cheese Mac-n-Cheese and the House BBQ sauce. We also ordered extra sides: Pit Beans (£3.50), English Cucumber and Dill ‘Slaw (£4), and Onion Rings (£4.50).
After a short while, our starters were being carefully placed before us by Elise, who asked if we needed water for the table, extra condiments etc. – we said yes to some water, no to all other offers. I had a trio of mini-Tacos, and each of the soft Corn Tortillas was filled with shreds of juicy, tender Lamb that melted in my mouth. Pomegranate seeds added a pop of texture and their characteristic zing, ably assisted by a tangy, Minted Yoghurt. This delight certainly got my taste buds going…roll on my main course!
His Nibs was thrilled with his choice of Smoked Bacon Burnt Ends, smiling happily as he chomped merrily away. I got passed one over, and the flavour was superb. Each piece of Bacon was more akin to Belly Pork bites, such was its size, and the taste was beautifully deep and meaty with that glorious smoky char coming through on the palate. A gorgeously sticky sauce clung determinedly to each chunk of Bacon, its flavour complementing the smoky tones of the Bacon perfectly. The House ‘Slaw was nicely creamy without being overly ‘wet’, and the vegetables were brilliantly crunchy.
Elise came to clear away all our starter stuff, replacing cutlery and napkins for us in readiness for our mains. In this interlude between courses, I took in the venue in more detail, and the first thing you notice is the sheer height of the ceiling: any higher and you could abseil from it! Open-plan, atmosphere had been created by black ceilings and pipe-work, with narrower pipes cleverly utilised to ‘break up’ dining areas and provide character. Lots of potted faux foliage was dotted around to provide colour and interest, and lighting came from sleek, ceiling-mounted pendants and individual lamps on each table. Paying homage to its heritage, there were large murals of colliery machinery on several walls, and these added something a little different to the décor.
I could be wrong but, given this was my impression, I’m going to say it: I think The Colliery Smokehouse, Bar and Grill is aimed more at groups of friends and families with mid-teen children than those with younger members. The style of décor and lay-out is more ‘grown-up’ and the live music stage does nothing to dispel this inclination; my beady eyes spotted the ‘OUTATIME’ sign and ‘The DeLorean’s’ logo on the drum skin – I like it. Clearly, the universe was sending me a sign that this was exactly where I was meant to be…still no sign of the actual DeLorean car, though!
Anyway, back to the food and our mains that had just arrived. My Beef Short Rib was certainly sizeable (taking up most of the plate!), the meat being punctuated by the thick Rib; and, yes, I did see if I could extract any tasty marrow from it! Sublimely juicy Beef flooded my mouth, releasing its deep flavour and I sighed contentedly. A peppery Watercress salad was the only accompaniment, other than the pot of amazing Blue Cheese sauce, and obviously there was the Hot Honey-glazed Corn Ribs, too. Being totally honest, I didn’t get the fieriness I wanted from the Hot Honey, though I did when I had it on my dessert: go figure?!
No less sizeable was The Mans’ Oak-smoked Brisket; like my Short Rib, the Beef took over a good half of the large plate – safe to say that you’re not going home hungry when you’ve eaten at The Colliery Smokehouse! The Brisket was falling apart along the grain of the Beef’s fibres, and it melted like a cloud on the tongue. The Man was very happy with his choice of main course, of that there was no doubt. That fiery Watercress salad came with His Nibs’ meat, as well as a pot of fabulously tangy House BBQ sauce. Fans of Mac-n-Cheese will go bonkers for the offering from The Colliery Smokehouse, Bar and Grill – this was melted, gooey Cheese heaven, with a bit of Macaroni thrown in for good measure. Pass the crusty bread, it’s needed to scoop up every last bit of this tasty bad-gal.
Both of us rated the Pit Beans; smothered in a wickedly rich Tomato sauce, the Beans were comfortingly soft in the mouth. This was the sort of dish that you could imagine yourself eating around the camp-fire on a cattle drive in Texas; simply delicious. I was a bit underwhelmed by the Onion Rings; to me, they were too skinny and weren’t ‘homemade’ – The Man thought they were nice enough, so maybe I’m being picky? The English Cucumber and Dill ‘Slaw was a welcome contrast to the sweeter, richer items of our meal; this minx was sharp and zingy, with the crunchy veg adding much-needed texture. Personally, I wouldn’t have called this a ‘slaw per se: it was just like the ‘Bread-and-Butter’ pickle that my honorary Aunty makes, so I would call it a pickle rather than ‘Slaw; but, hey, you say Po-tay-to, I say Po-tah-to. It was blooming tasty, which is the main thing, no?
All I’m going to say is, Oooft, the desserts are good! I went for the Chocolate, Pecan and Hot Honey Tart with Vanilla Ice Cream (£7.50), and The Man chose his beloved Sticky Toffee Pudding in its Bourbon and Date [smokehouse] incarnation, with Vanilla Custard (£7). Both puds were a generous size and my choice was blinking fab! First off, the pastry case was buttery and rich, without crumbling when cut into – always a winner for me. The Chocolate filling was ganache-esque in its texture and luxuriance, and I loved the contrast between its smoothness and the crunch of the nutty Pecan pieces. Hot Honey had been drizzled across the tart and imparted a nice zhuzh of heat and spice, which enhanced the Chocolate even more. Another touch I liked was the fact that my scoop of Vanilla Ice cream was served gently softened – it really grinds my gears when I have fight with a frozen-hard one that wants to escape a la Pretty Woman (IYKYK!).
You all know what a connoisseur of Sticky Toffee Puds His Nibs is, so when he says that this is one of the nicest STPs he’s had, that tells you something. This pud was gloriously sticky, and pleasingly dense without being heavy or stodgy, and the Custard it came with was delicious in its Vanillariness – this definitely isn’t a word, but it is now!
They say time flies when you’re having fun, and a couple of hours had just zoomed by! Elise had been a total superstar (as had her fellow serving team members) and had made our evening very pleasurable. Hot Wings given to The Colliery Smokehouse, Bar and Grill in Linton, near Swadlincote.
To book a table call 07481 392959 or visit www.collierysmokehouse.co.uk and hit the ‘bookings’ button in the right-hand corner.
Opening hours for the bar are: Weds–Sat Noon–11pm, Sun Noon–10pm, Mon–Tues 5pm–10pm; kitchen times are slightly different: closed Mon–Tues, Weds–Sat Noon–9pm, and Sun Noon–6pm.
